Guardian Angels
by JaneIsles
Summary: Set during the end of 5x24. House and Cuddy realize what's going on and it's time to let go...


Guardian Angels

"Are you okay?" she asks, her voice shaking. The blank fear written on her face because she slowly starts to realize that something is going wrong.

He closes his eyes, not wanting to believe what's happening. This just can't be true. What happened to him during the last hours was surreal on the one hand but there was also a feeling of loving what's going on. There was a time in which he admitted to his best friend that he wants Cuddy. And he doesn't only want her, he wants to be with her, because he's in love with her. Because he always was.

Suddenly it felt easier but now everything around him seems to fall apart. Almost the whole day hadn't been more but an illusion and he's not sure if he'll be strong enough to deal with it the disappointment and the bitter taste of the truth. Of the fact that he failed.

What if Cuddy won't be strong enough?

He isn't sure what happened and what didn't but what he knows for sure is that he hurt her. He never saw her reacting like this, she even cried when she yelled at him and he did much worse things in the past. And she never cried before. Not when he was watching.

What if he can't remember what he did? She won't forget about it, he knows that for sure. He feels dizzy when she approaches, he closes his eyes and another flashback reminds him of what really happened, no matter if he wants it or not.

He went to her office because he needed help. She was the only one who could help him, he said something about her daughter but she didn't join him. She left the hospital without him and slowly, there's a certain sadness that spreads inside of him.

"No, no," he says confused and looks at the door. "This is not true, it's not what happened," he looks at her helplessly but she doesn't seem to know what he's talking about.

"Greg?" she asks and walks around her desk. "What's going on?" she asks but the fearful sound of her voice tells him that she doesn't wanna know the truth at all.

He reaches into his jacket. This is the reason he came for. The reason why he woke up smiling in the morning. She left her lipstick in his bathroom, he wanted to remind her of that and give it back to her although a part of him wants to keep it. He carried it with him all day. But when he opens his hand, his heart stops beating for a moment.

"No," he whispers in disbelieve and shakes his head. That little orange bottle is the last thing he expected and it feels like a slap in the face that finally wakes him up.

"You were there," he says, sounding desperate. She still looks at him with a questioning look on her face. Her eyes reflect the fear that she hides deep inside.

He closes his eyes, recalling everything that happened last night. He knows that it's true. She was there, he felt it. She was with him, watched him while he sat on his bathroom floor. She was worried, that's why she stayed with him. And because she cares.

He sees her sitting in front of him, and suddenly he remembers why he loves her so much, but it seems to fade and suddenly she's gone. There's no one with him anymore except his pills. The ones that to kill him slowly.

He kissed her passionately, caressed her soft skin and felt the warmth of her wonderful body on his own. He hold her close while he guided her to the bedroom only to realize now that she wasn't there. He went to bed alone.

She wasn't even there.

He keeps his eyes closed and tries to swallow his disappointment and the certain desperation because he feels as helpless as he never did before and he reached the point of knowing that there's no way back anymore. He reached the end of a long road. One that isn't supposed to be walked to the end and he knows that he has to turn around before it's too late. And deep inside he hopes that there will be someone to waiting for him when he comes back.

He feels Lisa's hand on his cheek, her thumb caressing it gently.

"So this is the story you made up about who you are?" he hears a woman whispering in his ear.

"It's a nice one," she says.

He knows that voice but he thought she's gone. He thought it'd be over, but he was obviously wrong. It isn't over in any case.

And he thinks it can't be worse, when he sees him standing behind Cuddy. He looks at House, the look on his face tells him that he feels sorry about the whole thing.

"To bad it isn't true," Kutner says and reminds him of the cruel truth.

For a moment he thinks that he'll loose his consciousness. This just can't be true and when he looks at Lisa, it looks like she's about to cry.

"Greg," she whispers once again with a shaking voice. She bits her lip and closes her eyes, trying to forget about her own feelings for a moment.

He lays his arms around her even though he's afraid to loose her forever. He leans his forehead against hers when she looks up and she closes her eyes again. Not wanting to see all the pain, the hurt look on his face and the desperation in his eyes. She leans into him and listens to his breaths, and they both know it's finally time to let go.

It's his last chance. Their last chance.

She wants this moment to last forever, she doesn't know when she'll see him again and what he'll be like when he comes back one day.

It scares her.

Tears come to her eyes when she thinks about it but she blinks them away. Without looking at him, she takes his hand and leads him out of her office. He doesn't protest because all his strength is gone and he knows that she's about to do the right thing.

When Lisa approaches to Wilson's office, her heart pounds in her chest and makes it hard to breathe. Wilson looks up when she enters his office and due to the look on her face he knows that something is going wrong. He stands up, realizing that the time came. When his best friend enters the room, still holding her hand, he knows that they reached the end.

It hurts to see him like this, he knows that it won't be easy for all three of them but it's their last chance.

What hasn't been an illusion are the things House told him about Cuddy today. He knows it's true and it always was. It's that little spark of hope for both of them that makes it worth fighting harder then they every did before. He takes his jacket without a word and nods with a look at his friend.

Lisa refused to look at both of them, her eyes flood with tears and she bits her lip, trying to oppress them.

It hurts him to see her like this, but he knows that he has to go now. He looks at her one last time and turns around to follow Wilson who waits by the door. She feels his hand slipping away and for a moment she holds on to it and looks up.

A tear runs down her cheek and their eyes lock for a moment.

"We'll take care of her," Amber says softly and lays and arm around Cuddy, leaning her head against her shoulder, but Lisa doesn't feel it.

"She'll be alright," Kutner says calmly and reaches out to take Lisa's hand so that House will let her go. He nods and and her hand slips away from his.

When Wilson looks back into his office, the only thing he sees is Cuddy. She bits her lip before she bursts into tears.

He knows that she'll need some time and that he'll be the one to take care of her while House is gone but for now, she needs to be for herself.

But what Wilson doesn't see is that Cuddy isn't alone.

"Go now," Amber whispers when House looks back before the door closes.


End file.
